Taking Care of the Caregiver

I hear so much about how caregivers of dementia patients need to take care of themselves. Well, we are not actually to the point that I have to actually take care of my husband. I do have to make all of the financial decisions and remind him to take his medications and things like that, but he is still capable of taking care of himself.

But I still have neglected myself. So yes, I started the Scottish Country dance class that I mentioned a couple of days ago. I came home tonight really sore. I didn't know that Scottish dancing was so difficult and tricky. But I had a lot of fun. Scottish country dancing seems to be a combination of contra dancing and ballet. Trying to copy everyone else's dance steps while also trying to learn the moves will take some real practice and effort.

I sort of feel guilty going by myself and not inviting my husband. But I don't think he is coordinated enough to learn the dance, plus I really need a break from the stress I feel with him. So I go by myself. There were plenty of experienced lady dancers who had to play the man's part. It did get a bit confusing trying to learn the dance when you couldn't tell who was dancing the man's part or the woman's part.

Eight years ago before my husband and I were married, we took English Country dance classes together for a few months. He insisted he enjoyed it. However, I think he had a hard time even then learning the steps, and he actually looked terribly bored.

When a person has early dementia or Alzheimer's, their thought processing is slower. They get confused easier. So I really do not think he would enjoy himself, and I really need to do something that I enjoy and don't have to be concerned about him. So this is for me. I will dance.

Emma James