No longer sharp as a tack

I am so use to depending on my husband to know the things I don't know. I still keep expecting him to. But even in the very early stages of early onset Alzheimer's, he has changed. So when we get in a silly argument over whether or not the old tractor we have is out of gas, it can be very frustrating. The other day we had just this argument. The old tractor that we needed to get running to help mow our huge area wasn't working right. I will hire someone to come and fix it, but in the meantime we did get it running, a bit.

The problem was we were arguing over what was wrong with it. It needed a new battery. We should have just gone a bought a new one rather than trying to charge up this very old battery that was not going to keep a charge anyway. But the most frustrating was when I told him the tractor was out of gas and he argued with me and insisted it had plenty of gas in it. That was a stupid argument, yet it was frustrating. While I was frustrated, I tried to put the gas cap back on, but it flipped out of my hand and I dropped it. My husband gave me an angry look (NOT like him at all) and jumped back like I was throwing it at him. I quickly said, "I didn't throw that at you. I dropped it." I expected him to bend down and pick it up for me, since it had fallen near where he was standing. Instead he just gave me an angry glare and walked away. I asked him what in the world was wrong. He replied that he thought I was throwing the cap at him. That upset me. I asked him, "Have I ever thrown anything at you or hit you at all, ever?" I already knew the answer. I had not. But he simply said, "I don't know." Then that upset me.

Boy, do I have a lot to learn. What I should have done when I noticed the gas tank was empty was simply and calmly gone and gotten the gas cans and put gas in the tractor, rather than trying to convince him I was right.

My husband said something profound to me last night. I believe the Spirit of the Lord or my guardian angel was prompting him what to say to get through to me. My husband knows that I am very much into Energy Healing and practice on my children a lot. I can calm them down when they are upset simply by placing my hands on them while focusing on being very calm and visualizing that I am an open channel allowing healing energy to flow through me to them. When I can feel the energy swirling through my hands and they can feel the energy swirling through them, we know we are connected and they instantly relax.

Well last night, my husband said, "You know how you have stated that you hate feeling like my mother. Well just picture yourself as my healer instead." Now I do not expect to actually heal him from Alzheimer's but perhaps by taking his advice, I can help us both relax, be less afraid, and feel more connected to one another. So I must get off my high horse and visualize myself as a humble healer.