What's with the crude jokes

The doctors say the tests don't show cognitive decline, but then of course he is on medication for Alzheimer's, so what's up? It is quite frustrating to be told that there is no cognitive decline while I listen to my husband tell crude jokes, something he never did before. We have only been married for about 8 years, so was this just a side of him I never saw? Or is there something going on in his brain causing him to let his guard down when it comes to simple manners. He simply is not the same man I married 8 years ago. Our marriage has dissolved into nothing. I was willing to stick by him when I thought he could not help his behavior and needed me to oversee everything, even budgeting the money "he" makes.

But I am not willing to endure this if what I am seeing is just a part of him that he never showed me before. I feel really sad about what I am seeing. I am frightened too. I am really mixed up. Part of me sees his deceptive disturbing side and tells me to get the h-- out of there. The other side of me says this is not normal. There really is something wrong with him and you need to get him help.

The problem is until he wants help or people at his work tell him to get help, it is just me and my children knowing how odd he is becoming. We just look like the bad ones, and he looks like our victim. That is why I am backing off from taking charge of everything. If he takes his medication, he does. If he doesn't, he doesn't. Perhaps if I hadn't taken charge of his medications like I have, his behavior would be more obvious to others, not just those of us who deal personally with him.

I'm rambling on I know. But I guess that is why I created this Blog, so I could ramble when I am worried and frustrated.

Emma James

He does fine on tests, but not everyday life. I don't get it.

Okay, I am totally freaked out now. I just found out that my husband apparently did fine on the neuropsychiatric tests that he did 3 weeks ago. He did better than last year on some things and worse on others. But overall, his testing doesn't match with what I am seeing and those who live with him.

I don't know what to do. I want to just leave and go visit my son down south, but I feel that I am abandoning him if I do. I did leave for 2 months and he didn't do better. I told him the other day how scared I was. I want him to act normal all of the time or retarded all of the time. This going back and forth is making me the nutty one. So perhaps I should leave and go south.

Emma James